5 June 2022
Alcatrazz are about to record a new album and I’ve been working away in our house here in a spare room, turning it into a recording studio in which I can lay down drums. It’s worked very well and I’ve created a suitable dungeon with all manner of damping material to enable good recordings. I’ve got quite a lot of the required hardware, but Jimmy, our intrepid keyboardist who has also worked alongside producers such as Eddie Kramer and so on, will bring the truly essential components over and engineer to the whole session. It’s a finely laid plan that has taken months to prepare as time seemed to stand still before the scheduled recording time arrived.
But at last — it was here. It was time to begin laying down drums. Jimmy flies into Bari from Edinburgh today, 5 June. He’ll pick up a car, head on over here, we get set up and then tomorrow — 6 June — is D-Day and we begin. It’s the perfect plan.
However, it soon transpired that there is one fatal flaw in this perfect harmony of logistical planning and the action required to bring it to be. It wasn’t getting to the airport; Jimmy was up at 2am to avoid the Jubilee traffic lunacy that had turned the airports into something reminiscent of World War Z. No…no problem there. Taxi to airport and ready to check in just before a human wave descended to join the queue behind him. No…no problem there.
The flight departed on time.
The flight landed on time.
Italian passport control were their customary obnoxious surly bastard selves, but still no problem.
No…the problem came to light with a message from Jimmy at 12:48pm. Apparently, when Jimmy attempted to reclaim his luggage in which was housed several vital components of our recording venture. The main computer related gear he always carries on himself, but there is still a lot of equipment that has to be checked in; and all crucial to our recording.
But there was no bag.
It — along with 30 other passengers’ cases — is currently either on its own tour of Europe to parts unknown or sitting somewhere in Edinburgh. And Ryan Air are apparently not answering requests for information from the nice ladies at Bari lost luggage.
So, we wait.
Pizza was eaten. Beer was drunk. Tracks were listened to and discussed. But drums were not hit.
D-Day-1 was a bust.
6 June 2022
D-Day!
Jimmy: Hello Mister Ryanair…do you have my case?
Ryanair: No idea.
Jimmy: Um, well, can you tell me whether it is in the UK or in Italy at least?
Ryanair: No idea.
Jimmy: Okaaay…well, what procedure would be best for me to follow?
Ryanair: No idea. Don’t you know there’s a war on?! And a jubilee?! And Edinburgh airport are virtually on strike?! And travel chaos is gripping Britain?! And my shoes are too tight?! And my feet hurt?! You ungrateful America!
Jimmy: Thank you Mister Ryanair. Have a nice day.
Ryanair: @%$#&%@!!! Go away.
7 June 2022 (D+1)
Fortunately, the ladies at Bari lost luggage department are pretty cool, so the early morning phone call to tell Jimmy his case had actually arrived now — rushed to Italy at Ryanair’s expense, to be fair — was most welcome. “We can get it to you in two or three days.”
“No, no, noooo, I’ll come and get it.”
And so the intrepid keyboardist set sail once more in his little rental car, dodging the homicidal drivers so common around here and, after circling the airport aimlessly as his GPS toyed with him, screeched to a halt at Arrivals. No problem…he was shown through security and saw the fabled case on its pedestal, in a beam of light that reflected its golden features as he measured the exact amount of sand it would take to replace its weight on the pedestal to avoid triggering any booby traps when he switched the statue for the sandbag.
Anyway, while Jimmy was not pursued by a runaway boulder but was strongly urged by a surly member of the Italian Fuzz to empty the aforementioned case and explain what everything was. ‘Is this new?’ Mister Fuzz repeatedly enquired. ‘No’, came the equally repetitive reply as all mics, recording gear, audio hubs, etc etc were laboriously unpacked and put in a pile next to Jimmy’s laundry accumulated by his recent few days in Scotland.
I suspect they were trying to decide whether things were being brought in to sell from the UK, as it is no longer part of the EU and therefore Jimmy could be hammered for tax. Thank you Boris, you gurning bastard sack of turds. Anyway, while the lost luggage lady tutted at the Fuzz for this unwarranted hassle, the bag was emptied all over the place.
Thankfully, the Fuzz eventually got bored, Jimmy packed up his shit and left. He then manfully proceeded to get lost on the way to my house before I talked him through the last few miles by phone and he eventually arrived.
We could get underway at last.
Mics and gear were set up — which took a while — levels set, and we started some test recordings. I started by using my old clip-on AKG tom mics but some weird buzzing began after a couple of hours, so swapped them out for a set of old, sturdy and reliable Yamaha mics that used to belong to Mister Powell (though I don’t think he ever used them in action) and we seem to have solved that issue.
Beyond that we didn’t get much under our belts on this first session. On the plus side, Leia has finally stopped barking at Jimmy after a couple of days.
Tomorrow we have full lift off…D-Day+2.
8 June 2022 (D+2)
Now we were finally able to get stuck into the recording. A few strange ghosts in the machine caused a bit of skullduggery while checking levels, but apart from that it was pretty smooth sailing. There was a storm that passed over the house, which frequently cuts the power, but this time luck was actually on our side!
Took a few takes to get my recording mojo doing what I wanted it to do, but on the whole our first proper recording day was excellent. While some of those tracks are still only guides, it was also great to hear some extra guitar and vocal pieces that I hadn’t fully heard before and, as you would expect, Associate Professor Stump and Mister White (not James Bond’s nemesis, but our very own Haggis aficionado) have put in sterling performances. The bass courtesy of Sir Gary of Shea is suitably thumping and Mister Waldo’s keyboards adding great melody and filling the sound perfectly.
This new material is really strong and I’m having a ball playing it. Almost impatient to hear the end product!
Recording is a strange thing really, because it’s not something I necessarily enjoy, but rather a vehicle by which you can make an album which you can then hang a tour on. THAT’s where it’s at for me: the live stage. Plus, after Covid hassles and all that jazz, we are recording separately which takes a while to get used to. But these guys in the band are so good and Jimmy so good at pushing the buttons and twizzling the dials that it is surprisingly easy and you still feel a visceral connection to what the rest of the band are playing. And THAT…to me…is the key to great heavy metal.
The drums sound good – they’re in tune, have great heads on them, good mics, the room giving the perfect dead/live sound, all metalwork delivered by Paiste (the best sounding cymbals to my ears) — so you can capture that proper energy you need for metal. Loving it. I will do my best to live up to the immortal words of one of my drumming heroes (no longer with us) when he told me: “If you’re going to play metal, hit the damn thing. Hard!”
Four tracks cut today. We’re picking up the pace now. So onwards to tomorrow….
You must be logged in to post a comment.